Cha0tic1303's blog

QotD: My Friends Would Describe Me As...

What three adjectives do you think your friends would use to describe you?

Fucking, Miserable and Cunt. In that order.

They're my friends, so they know what I'm like, but they'd probably agree with people that didn't know me so well and use those three words.

QotD: Condiment Complement

What foods do you pair with ketchup? What about mayonnaise? 

Chips mostly, though it's good on a Bacon, Sausage or fried egg butty. With Cheese on toast, or Macaroni Cheese. (along with Lea and Perrins) Ideal with Fish Fingers and a fry up as well. The one thing I don't put it with is baked Beans. This is because when we were small children and we had a beans on toast we would ask for ketchup and get told;

"You don't need ketchup, there are already Tomatoes in the Beans"

This is one of those things that's stuck with me even though I could slather my Beans in ketchup if I wanted and no-one would stop me. I have tried it and they don't really go together, I prefer Lea and Perrins, Soy Sauce or Tabasco with my baked beans now anyway.

Mayonnaise I like with chips. I was told that The Belgians or The Germans have mayo' with their chips in a kind of sneering 'aren't foreigners weird' way by my Dad.  Obviously I had to give that exotic continental taste a try just to piss him off. It works for me. Mayonnaise mostly gets used by me to make Tuna, Egg or Chicken mayo' butties. I might add chopped capers to it to make a Tartare sauce effort if I'm having fish. I sometimes use it on cheese butties instead of butter or marge'.

I also like Salad Cream, strangely enough, especially with Salad. How else are you going to make lettuce interesting?

In my day this was all fields.

I posted flippantly before Christmas about Technology and my media consumption. One comment from DerbyDave got me thinking though. More like reminiscing on a nostalgia trip actually. So any young folks reading can ignore this post if you like. Just like you switch off when Grandparents, or Parents start going on about how it was in 'their day'

The first TV I remember was black and white and it wasn't a small portable like you might have in the caravan, bed room, or kitchen*. It was a great big, full size monster that sat in the corner of the Living Room** dominating the space. If you wanted to watch BBC2 with a decent picture, you had to get someone to sit on a stool in the right place whilst holding the aerial. The aerial was a lump of off-white plastic with two hoops attached to it that normally sat on top of the telly. The plastic was probably off-white, because of my Dad smoking or maybe the heat that came off the back of the TV doing something to the plastic. To tune the TV to a different station you turned a dial like a safe cracker, or someone in a shower trying to get the temperature right. When you turned the TV off there was a white dot that lingered in the centre of the screen and slowly faded.

This wasn't some Victorian, small children up chimneys and down mines with ponies past. This was my Britain about 1970.

I don't think we were terribly poor, but I don't think we were massively well off. It all seemed about average and normal.

The first Colour TV I saw was round at Uncle S and Auntie E's. They weren't real Uncles and Aunties, but it's what you called people your parents age that were their friends. I think Mum and Aunty E met either in hospital, or at the Doctors Surgery round about the time my bother was born. They had two girls. T was about my age and K was the same age as my brother. They lived round The Avenue, and now I think about it were probably slightly exotic, because Uncle S was from Australia.

I remember they got a colour TV and it was a big deal. I don't think it was a 'keeping up with the Jones' thing, but I could be wrong as I was around five or six. What I do remember was popping round on a special visit to see their new colour television. Seeing the Station Idents in colour, was probably the biggest deal, as they were things you saw everyday and the phrase
"Oooh I didn't realise that was that colour."
Was the most frequent comment.

Being a child I didn't know about our family finances, besides being told we couldn't have something, or do something, because it was "Too expensive". Eventually at some point in the early/mid 70s we did get a colour television and it became a standard thing. Though I've a vague memory that the first one we had was rented, rather than buying it on HP. Can you still rent Televisions?

Nana & Grandad (Dads parents) seemed to have a large Black and White TV for ever and Saturday Afternoon visits included two televisual events. My dad watching the wrestling at 4 O'Clock & my Grandad listening to The Pools results at 5 O'clock. These were actually the football scores for the matches played that afternoon, but were called 'The Pools' as in:
"Shush. Your Grandad is listening to 'The Pools' "
He wasn't interested in Football and didn't support a team, but he did do 'The Pools'.

Nanny (Mums, Mum) never had a Television and even at a young age we thought that was strange. I assume this to be an indicator of how ingrained Television must have become by the late 60s early 70s. Or how even as a five year old Television had worked it's way into my Psyche.

*In writing that bit I've realised that the tiny portable in the caravan, Kitchen or bedroom are now probably colour. Can you still get black and white tellies? Or all the Black and White TVs called Monitors now and only attached to CCTV systems?

**For any Anthropologists/Sociologists out there. It was always the living room. I heard my Dad say 'lounge' a couple of times, but it never seemed to fit right in his mouth. I think for him 'The Lounge' was a room in the Pub that wasn't 'The Bar'.
Later on, in other houses we had a Study & Dining room. A Snug even. We never had a lounge though. It was always the living room.

QotD: Sound Off

Nails on a chalkboard, TV static, the alarm clock... What noise annoys you most?

The sound of the human voice.

Specifically the brainless wittering that spews out of some of my co-workers. Several people I work with have to talk. It's as though they feel they don't exist unless they're saying something, anything. Even if it's a load of crap about crap. Consequently they're not listening to instructions, or paying attention to what's going on around them. They're not concentrating on the job in hand and therefore get things wrong.

Ford Prefect in "The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" very nearly describes what annoys me about the noise from my co-workers.

"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical."

Although my theory differs from Ford's, in that I suspect there is very little Brain that would start working. It's as though there's not enough stuff going on inside their heads. They can't exist inside their own head for any length of time. Like they're trapped inside a big, empty, echoing cavern that is their feeble mind. So they have to talk to fill their own internal mental void.

Yes. I'm probably a miserable old Meldrew-esque misanthrope, but sometimes I wish people would just shut the fuck up and get on with the job.

As much as I like...

...going for a curry with friends on Christmas Day. I do like all the food that goes into a Christmas Dinner. It's just the hassle of the day I dislike. Someone having to worry about cooking for a load of ungrateful buggers. Some of whom want to 'help'; or want to eat at a specific time because something is on the telly; or don't like sprouts and make a fuss about not liking sprouts and all the other things that make Christmas Dinner a stress.

Tonight I'm having Christmas Dinner for myself.

I sort of wish I'd picked up a brace of Pheasants when I was away, ah well. Roast Chicken will do. along with:

• Mashed Swede & Potatoes
• Roast Sweet potatoes
• Roast Onion
• Roast Parsnips
• Honey Glazed Carrots with Tarragon.
• Sprouts
• Sage & Onion Stuffing (Call me a bluff old traditionalist)
• Gravy

All washed down with a nice bottle of crisp white wine.

No pudding, as I'm not a great sweet eater, I might get a marked down Xmas pud' later in the week though.

Afters will be:

• Port
• Stilton
• Oat cakes
• Digestive biscuits

Followed by Sloe gin,
Coffee & Rum

I think that's it. Yes I know there isn't X & Y & Z, but it's my Christmas Dinner & I'll have what I like - I might pop to the shop for a tin of peas. I might make some pigs in blankets we'll see.

Then perhaps the greatest thing is. I will have leftovers, so there will be bubble & squeak, followed by chicken soup/stew for a couple of days. I might even have a Chicken & Stuffing butty.

BURrrrRP!

As there is bugger all work on this week I don't see why I shouldn't spoil myself.

QotD: Starting from Scratch

What would it take to get you to start a new life on a new world?

A massive advance in the field of interstellar transportation and longevity treatments in the next couple of years. There would also have to be booze there. I'm not going if there's no Rum.

QotD: Entertainment Center

How has technology changed the way you watch movies and listen to music?

Not a lot. I still use my Eyes and Ears.

QotD: My Favorite Movie Quote

What’s your favourite movie quote of all time?

" It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?"

It's from 'Bladerunner'. The one film I think everyone should see, so I won't bother with that QotD

Giving away trick of the trade?

If you don't know xkcd, then you should. I know I've ganked one of their cartoons for a blog post before now, but the one below is another of my favourites:

Tech_support_cheat_sheet

The other top tip is:

"Turn it off and on again"

Cross Stitch...

...hopefully with less FAIL.

Crossstitch

The subject may seem a bit prosaic, but I made it as a thank you for my pal. For driving me all over Cornwall on holiday. It's designed to go in her van.
Subversive Cross Stitch.com was the inspiration for the idea, and looking at the site again to get that link. I realise I should do a bit of adornment on it. I also have to work out how to mount it in some way. So a bit more work to do yet.

I used the text generator at Stitchpoint.com, which is linked to from Subversive cross stitch.

I'm now working on some other projects using the online image converter Stitchpoint 2.0 though you'll have to wait a while to see those.